The wooden boards of the deck of
the ship were clean and newly varnished. As the last glow of the sun disppeared
below the horizon, I sat thinking about what I had started and would complete
very soon now. The trouble it had taken to get on board this ship undetected
had been considerable. It had been good fortune that it was not the coldest
part of the year, though it could only get hotter en route as I travelled further
southwards. My warmer outer clothing would soon be discarded as it had served
its purpose doubling up as a part of my disguise. I had successfully walked
onto the ship past the officers on duty at the boarding stairway as I smiled
hoping that I looked confident. I have known from a long time ago that if I
looked as though I belonged somewhere and gave the appearance of knowing where
I was going then there was a very good chance of not being challenged. I
consider myself quite resourceful and "streetwise" although I wasn't
quite so sure of myself as it appeared. The first part of my plan had gone
ahead without any real problems. All had worked well and I was safely on board
with nobody looking for me. A few close calls, but this was nothing new to me.
I was sure I would be successful as the future depended on it. If I failed? I
was not going to fail and I was determined not to think like that. The forged
documents had worked perfectly though I didn't have any delusions about the
outcome. At least, I think I didn't have any. Maybe the biggest delusion of all
would be expecting to get to where I wanted to go. To reach the final
destination. To win. No. I'd get there. It wasn't a delusion at all and I was
sure of that.
I had
no problem with doing what I planned to do. I didn't like the English anyway.
Their arrogance and general self-righteous attitude would irritate me to distraction
if I let it bother me. I didn't allow this as I knew I would soon have the last
laugh. It gave me a tremendous sense of excitement knowing what would happen
very soon now. It may be 2007, but it's still a war. Time never heals. Weak
minded people think it does, but some things are too important to ever be
forgotten or forgiven. I had been told this much over and over again and it is,
of course, true. I know that much. I have known that since childhood. As an
adult, I know the emotive term of terrorist is made up by governments to
justify their actions against people like me. It's certainly a war and many of
the "enemy" have no idea what it is all about. The beginning is
buried in history and conveniently overlooked. One man's terrorist is another
man's patriot and I am a patriot. I am true to my beliefs and I believe in what
I am doing, which is more than I can say about many of the "enemy".
They have no idea what it is all about other than we are the wicked mindless
ones. They go about daily business not really concerned with important issues
and then they pompously sound off about the opinions of others after they have
read them in their newspapers. Or seen and heard about them on TV. To be true
to my convictions is honourable and I know exactly what I am doing and why I am
doing it.
So, I
must not be too quiet or withdrawn as this can bring its own unwelcome
attention. I will just go about my business of becoming accepted and worm my
way into any situation that may bring me advantage. I spoke the English
language very fluently with virtually no detectable accent. I even had the
features of a native Englishman and had been groomed for my mission from a very
early age. I would not expect any problem passing myself off as a native
Englishman and I have never encountered any such problem before. Chatting with
my fellow passengers and not being too aloof could be tricky sometimes, but I
was rather good at deflecting questions with non-answers. I know that most
people accept the lack of an answer to their questions without too much
protest. Deflecting a question is a skill I have developed. Not answering at
all is blantantly offensive and there is no need for that. I might only have
had a problem if I had to answer an official question from a crew member, but
as my documents are all in order and I will be dressed as an officer of the
shipping line I should find it all very easy. I must simply stay out of their
way. I may be confident and a little cocky, but I'm not stupid!
I put
on my cap and stood up without my topcoat to begin my walk around the deck. The
time was approaching when it must get much hotter.
Much
hotter.
Louis Brothnias 2005